Resident Evil : Retribution (2012)

                        Ummmmmm ... Well it's a Resident Evil movie. Go see it if you care.
                                                  Barry Burton is totally in it though. That shit was pretty hype.

Looper (2012)

    First off I owe someone money for saying I thought this movie would probably flop. It's fantastic. Not just fantastic, it's an instant sci-fi classic I hope no one ever touches again. It's up there with Minority Report, the original Star Wars, the Matrix, and even Brazil (for those of you know who know what that is). I'm actually kinda speechless, this movie is pretty perfect. It's visually impressive, it's smart, it's well written, it's proper well acted, and it's very VERY original. 

    So Looper... what are you really about? I guess it's about, at it's core, how the smallest events affect our lives as much as the biggest sacrifices. It's about how love can drive us to the edge, and about how time influences all things. As far as an actual plot ; Loopers are specialized assassins. When criminal organizations in the future need to kill someone, they send them back in time (which is highly illegal) and the Loopers remove them. They're payed well, and live rich lives. That is until they have to close their loop, essentially meaning killing themselves from the future to prevent any trace of the murders. Over the course of his life Joseph Gordon Levitt's character, a young Looper named Joe, notices all his Looper friends are being closed, his older self finally comes back. Old Joe played by Bruce Willis happens to have an agenda of his own, to change the future so he and his wife can live long happy lives together. 

    I won't spoil any of the more interesting plot points, but suffice it to say the movie has a lot going on. The plot moves fast but manages to keep you connected to the characters, changing who you like, who you hate, and who your routing for scene to scene. The two leads along with a fantastic supporting cast make this the best most heartfeltly acted movie I've seen in a long time. I'm taking this sentence to say I think (and have thought for a while) that Joseph Gordon Levitt is the best actor around right now. Bruce Willis doesn't do bad either, and Emily Blunt not sounding British is a great turn as well. 

   The effects when used are great, but what really stands out are the make-up as the two characters transition into one another, and the design of all their sort of near future gadgettry; such as floating motorcycles and cellphones in your hand (which is cool here as opposed to when Total Recall did it) and just GAH this movie is so good. The story will be remembered long after any of these actors.

   Everyone should go see this now. It has no flaws, I have seen it twice and I will go see it again, and you will see it again and again and YOUR FRIENDS will see it again and again and everyone in the world will see it. Go see it today. 

    

The House at the End of the Street (2012)

Yeah...  thought this was about ghosts too.

    Hub blub dub wubb wubbly bubbly dub bub.... oh hey. So yeah, someone made this movie. Honestly I shouldn't be surprised it's a sack of shit garbage, every other horror movie this year has been, why wouldn't this be too? The Possession, the Apparition, hell I hear V/H/S is pretty shitty too. If Sinister isn't good and Silent Hill doesn't entertain  I'm condemning the horror film genre for a few years. 

    Anyways so House at the End of the WHO GIVES A SHIT the title isn't relevant is about a mother and her daughter who move into a new very nice house after coming out of a bad neighborhood. They can afford the house because a nearby house (possibly at the end of some street) is occupied by a young man who's little sister murdered their parents. While it doesn't go exactly where you think it does it does stick to the formula of the girl falls sympathetically for the guy and the guy shows only a few signs of being psychotic. 

    I don't even want to talk about the film making; endless shaky cam and poor lightning, no real logical set design, poor simple borrrrring writing, no real characters, and for the love of god someone needs an acing coach (I'm talking about all of them). The biggest disappointment (Besides the whole thing and the poorly convinced twist ending that doesn't affect anyone) is Jennifer Lawrence. Here's this attractive girl with zero potential who keeps getting put in movies. 

                                                                            HEY

    Stop that bullshit.  She can't act and the only way to make her look passable is by jerking off the camera every second she's on the screen.  I really don't have a lot else to say about this movie, it's not worth it, it's a piece of shit. It's awful. Never go see it. Forget it exists. Fuck off Jennifer Lawrence.