Sooooooooooooooooooo after two weeks of college, moving into my dorm, meeting new people, working way too hard, and waiting through two party hardy weekends I FINALLY got to the movies with a cute lil vixen from the third floor of my dorm, and we had a lovely time.
I mean the movie was piece of garbage and I hate everything
But she was pretty cute
So if you can't tell based on the STAGGERINGLY ORIGINAL AND COMPLEX title, the movie is about a little girl who is possessed by a Jewish demon that feeds on children. It's not a bad idea, I mean it's not super original but it's a cool idea that could work easily. It's just busting at the loins with shitty creative decisions. For example you know you need to transition between scenes or else the movie feels ridiculously disjointed? Well this movie's longest scene is probably 11 minutes if that. The cuts are rapid because the scenes are short because the director seems to have his lips securely around the dick of a few piano notes that play in every single fracking transition. It's annoying, and any good development gets cut way too short.
Complaint number 2, WHY THE F*CK DON'T GOOD CHILD ACTORS EXIST???? I mean there have to be more then two or three of them right? The main little girl in this movie, ya know the one that's supposed to be possessed and scary and drive the plot and shit? Ya she sucks. Not just because she can't deliver a line properly to save her life, but she can't make emotions via her face or any other part of her, and most importantly she Jake Lloyds(LOOK IT UP) all over her serious scenes. She was a massive casting mistake. Shame on you movie.
But I guess my biggest complaint is that's its blue - gray wintery affect reminds of a not so slick rip off of every recently sorta good to great horror flick and it worries me that THIS is where bad horror movies are moving. I love silly bad horror movies and ridiculous bad horror movies but this new breed of crap and melodramatic horror movies don't sit well with this cracker!
Just skip this movie it literally has NOTHING to offer.
Unless you take a cute girl.
Then it's totally cool.
