Total Recall (Totally Remade in 2012)

   

I'll just say it, I think Colin Farrell looks silly here

   When I walked out of the theater for this movie a brilliant man gave me a brilliant peace of advice. "Enjoy your youth before they start remaking all your favorite movies". And he's right. When I get older I'm not looking forward to a Lord of the Rings remake, Harry Potter remakes, remakes of poorly re-made horror movies. I gotta say this guy really got me thinking that they better not touch Shrek. For the love of god, leave Shrek alone.
   ....if your wondering why I wasn't thinking more about Total Recall it's because there wasn't much to think about. 

   Straying even farther from the original Philip K. Dick short story (Speaking of which, leave I Am Legend alone from now on. I happen to like the book and the original movie a lot) this version of Total Recall is really just forgettable. Oh ha ha puns. Starring Colin Farrell in the principle of role original played by Arnold Shwatrzgenhimener of the great California and I have to say if anything has improved while at the same time being a lot worse it's the acting. The original movie has tons of cheesy over the top 80's style action acting while the new is actually full of a really great cast who all do an amazing job. But I for some reason, I find myself enjoying the original more because it doesn't take itself quiet as seriously. All the other acting is the same way, everyone in this remake is better but it never feels as fun. 

   I feel the same way about the visuals, they're great and sparkly but as opposed to the cool colorful collective of the original's design we have what look like Blade Runner throwing up all over *Insert scene from any Bourne movie here*. And while the movie doesn't look bad modern day conventions of grey drab sci-fi city combined with the classic J. J. Abrams lens flares makes this movie a little boring to look at. I won't spoil it but the coolest thing in the movie to me is what they do instead of going to Mars, even though the Mars stuff is great in the original this movie's version is to me a very interesting change. 

   I can't really say this movie is bad, the acting is great and the effects are great, but everything else is so standard and bland that I can't really recommend you check it out. That said if you get trapped in some sort of social vortex where you must go see it the movie definitively won't kill you with sheer horribleness.